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Panic & Anxiety: an infectious disease...
from:The thing that the majority of my clients tell me about their
panic or anxiety, is how frightening it is to feel out of
control.... and to top it all, we discover that their anxiety is
causing them anxiety! One client recently, in an "ah-ha" moment
with me realised, that if she could let go of the need to
control everything she wouldn't feel so anxious. In fact, the
super anxious believe, if they could have more control over
things they would be less anxious....but the reverse is in fact
true. The more control you surrender and the more acceptance you
have of the way things are, the more calm you will feel.
Panic and anxiety are bad habits that the body gets used to
practising. It is so used to practising them, that it might take
just a fleeting thought, or a comment or situation to set them
off. Often the fear of anxiety or panic attacks obscures any of
those original triggers and so the anxious are left having,
often, no idea why they have had such an attack.
Does this sound like you? Are you in bad habits with yourself?
And more importantly, are you sick to the back teeth with it?
So how did we learn to suppress our healthy but self censored
emotions so that we can no longer recognise them? Much of it
will come from childhood, or they could be formed by shock,
trauma or loss later in life. Either way, the effect is
experienced in the here and now. And that is where we suffer.
Now.
It occurred to me a while ago, with a wide range of clients,
that panic and anxiety are in fact all those forbidden feelings
locked away deep inside that threaten to spill out if we, for
one moment, relax. The threat of being exposed or of not being
good enough all stacked up is enough to give anyone chronic
panic and anxiety! It's like a pressure cooker waiting to blow.
However, did you know for example that:
*Anxiety is a chronic learned, not inherited, habit often found
in parents and children
*We can alleviate our anxiety by becoming conscious of what it
is masking
*Once conscious we can change the way we deal with familiar
situations which will reduce our anxiety
*That by building a deeper inner self confidence, you can reduce
anxiety
I discuss in my Open Mind Guide to Dealing with your Anxiety an
anxiety loop where families get into chronic habits and cycles
of anxiety: you know, the worrying about worry cycle that is
exhausting and self defeating. There can be nothing less
productive and more frustrating than the worry cycle, or what I
have called the 'Anxiety Loop'. And we may loop round our own
anxiety, worrying about being anxious which can often be a
reflection of the way our families operated when we were young.
Anxiety is infectious. Once a parent is anxious about their
child, the child will be anxious about their parent. Once a
child is anxious about their parent, the parent will be anxious
about their child. Sound familiar? The one with the power here,
is the parent. As parents we owe it to our children to be calm
and confident. That is how our children will grow to also be
calm and confident individuals.
So to start you on your journey of dealing with your anxiety
take a reality check. Make a list of all the current things in
your life that disturb or affect you negatively and then write
down, next to this list, what you would have to do to resolve
those issues. Be as honest as possible. If you're not honest
with yourself, there is nothing anyone can do to help you!
If this involves telling someone something which you feel is
completely unacceptable, then you need to do some work on giving
yourself permission to express some of those forbidden feelings
that you are stacking up inside and relearn and undo some of
those bad habits from childhood.
If you want to grapple with the very root of the problem, and
empower yourself to change, start writing now. Take an inventory
of what you want to change. Writing things down is the first act
of commitment to a better future.
About the author:
Jenny Lynn is an integrative psychotherapist, counsellor and
hypnotherapist working with people for their optimum mental,
emotional & sometimes physical wellbeing. She is also available
to give public talks on a range of issues affecting mind and
body.
Jenny created http://www.TheOpenMindGuide.com/ to enable many
others to benefit from her no nonsense, practical yet sensitive
advice and guidance. Click on the above link to visit the site
and join the newsletter.
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